The Best Man's Toast

Silas hadn't seen Meret in four years, not since the argument that ended their friendship. It ended whatever else had been quietly growing between them, too. Standing across the aisle from her at Rosalind's wedding rehearsal felt strange. Both of them were in the wedding party by accident of loyalty rather than choice, like being handed a problem neither had finished solving.

赛拉斯已经四年没见过梅蕾特了，自从那场终结他们友谊的争吵之后，就再没见过。那场争吵也终结了他们之间原本悄悄滋长的其他东西。在罗莎琳德的婚礼彩排上，隔着过道站在她对面，感觉很奇怪。两个人都是出于情分而不是自己的选择才成了婚礼的伴郎伴娘，就像被塞了一个谁都没能解决的难题。

"You cut your hair," he said, because it was the only thing safe enough to say out loud.

“你剪头发了。”他说，因为这是唯一一句安全到可以大声说出口的话。

"Four years ago, yes," Meret said, though she was almost smiling. "You're observant."

“四年前就剪了。”梅蕾特说，不过她几乎在笑，“你观察得真仔细。”

They managed the rehearsal dinner by talking to everyone except each other. It worked, mostly, until the wedding planner sat them beside each other at the head table the following evening. The best man and the maid of honor were traditionally seated together, and nobody had thought to ask if that was a problem.

整场彩排晚宴，他们都靠和除了对方以外的所有人说话来应付过去。这办法大体上奏效了，直到第二天晚上，婚礼策划师把他们安排在主桌上挨着坐。伴郎和首席伴娘按惯例要坐在一起，没有人想过去问问这是不是个问题。

"I should have called you after everything happened," Silas said quietly, halfway through the meal. "I've been meaning to say that for years."

“出事之后，我本该给你打个电话的。”宴席进行到一半时，赛拉斯轻声说，“这句话我想说很多年了。”

"Why didn't you?" Meret asked, not unkindly.

“你为什么没打？”梅蕾特问，语气并不责备。

"Pride, mostly. I told myself you didn't want to hear from me, which was probably just an excuse not to find out if it was true."

“主要是自尊心作怪。我告诉自己，你不想接到我的电话，这多半只是个借口，让我不必去弄清这是不是真的。”

Meret turned her glass slowly on the tablecloth. "I waited for that call longer than I'd like to admit," she said. "Eventually I decided you must have meant what you said that night, and I stopped waiting."

梅蕾特在桌布上慢慢转着她的杯子。“那个电话，我等了很久，久到我自己都不愿承认。”她说，“后来我断定你一定是那晚说的话当了真，就不再等了。”

"I didn't mean it. I was angry, and I said the worst thing I could think of because it was easier than saying what I actually felt."

“我不是认真的。我当时很生气，我说出了我能想到的最难听的话，因为这比说出我真正的感受要容易。”

The band started playing before she could answer, and Silas was called up to give his toast. He hadn't planned to mention any of it. But standing there, watching Rosalind and her new husband, he found himself talking about how easily pride can outlast a friendship worth keeping.

她还没来得及回答，乐队就开始演奏了，赛拉斯被叫上台致祝酒词。他本来没打算提起这些事。可是站在那里，看着罗莎琳德和她的新婚丈夫，他发现自己讲起了自尊心可以多么轻易地比一段值得珍惜的友谊活得更久。

Afterward, Meret found him near the bar. "That was either very brave or completely reckless," she said.

致辞结束后，梅蕾特在酒吧附近找到了他。“这要么是非常勇敢，要么是彻头彻尾的鲁莽。”她说。

"Probably both," Silas admitted. "Can we start over? Properly, this time."

“大概两者都是。”赛拉斯承认，“我们能重新开始吗？这一次，好好地来。”

Meret considered it for a moment that felt much longer than it was. Then she held out her hand, as if they were meeting for the first time, and said she thought they could try.

梅蕾特考虑了一会儿，那一刻感觉比实际长得多。然后她伸出手，像是他们第一次见面一样，说她觉得他们可以试试。