Marnie was clearing old drafts from her email account when she found a message she had never sent. It was addressed to Adrian, dated almost six years earlier, and the subject line simply read "About Saturday."
玛妮在清理电子邮箱里的旧草稿时，发现了一封她从未发出的邮件。收件人是阿德里安，日期差不多是六年前，主题栏里只写着“关于周六”。
She remembered writing it. Adrian had asked her, hesitantly, whether she wanted to try being more than friends, and she had promised to think about it. She had drafted an answer that night, then closed her laptop, telling herself she would finish it in the morning. By the time she opened it again, three days had passed, and the silence had already done the damage the words were meant to prevent.
她记得自己写过这封信。阿德里安曾经小心翼翼地问她，愿不愿意试试做比朋友更进一步的关系，她答应会考虑一下。那天晚上她起草了回复，然后合上笔记本电脑，告诉自己明天早上再写完。等她再次打开它时，已经过去了三天，而沉默早已造成了她本想用这些话来避免的伤害。
Reading it now, she was surprised by how honest it was. "I've been thinking about this for weeks," she had written, "and I think I've been too scared to say what I actually want." She must have known, even then, that hesitation would be its own answer.
现在重读这封信，她惊讶于它是多么坦诚。“这几个星期我一直在想这件事，”她写道，“我觉得我一直太害怕，不敢说出我真正想要的。”她那时一定就已经知道，犹豫本身就是一种回答。
Adrian had eventually stopped waiting. He had married someone else two years later, and Marnie had told herself she was happy for him, which was mostly true. What she hadn't told herself was that she still wondered, sometimes, what would have happened if she had pressed send.
阿德里安最终不再等她了。两年后，他和别人结了婚，玛妮告诉自己她为他高兴，这在很大程度上是真的。她没有告诉自己的是，有时她仍然会想，如果当初按下了发送键，会发生什么。
She typed his name into a search bar, not sure what she expected to find, and learned his marriage had quietly ended the previous spring. It wasn't an invitation. It wasn't even really her business. But it was information, and information had a way of reopening doors she had assumed were sealed.
她在搜索栏里输入了他的名字，也不确定自己想找到什么，结果得知他的婚姻在去年春天悄悄结束了。这不是一份邀请，甚至算不上她该管的事。但这是一条信息，而信息总有办法重新打开那些她以为早已封死的门。
She didn't send the old email. Instead, she wrote a new one, shorter, that only said she had been thinking of him and hoped he was doing well. If she sent it, she thought, it could easily be ignored, and that would be a kind of answer too.
她没有发出那封旧邮件。相反，她写了一封新的，更短，只说自己一直想着他，希望他一切都好。她想，如果发出去，很可能会被置之不理，而那也算是一种回答。
Her cursor hovered over the button for a long moment. Then, before she could talk herself out of it again, she clicked send, and let six years of silence finally end.
她的光标在按钮上方停了很久。然后，在她又一次说服自己放弃之前，她点了发送，让六年的沉默终于画上了句号。
