The Music Program Speech

The email arrives on a Monday. Because of budget pressures, the school board will vote on Thursday whether to cut the music program at the end of the year. Aurora reads it standing at her locker, and the viola on her back suddenly feels heavier than usual.

Surel itu tiba pada hari Senin. Karena tekanan anggaran, dewan sekolah akan memberikan suara pada hari Kamis untuk memutuskan apakah program musik dipangkas di akhir tahun. Aurora membacanya sambil berdiri di depan lokernya, dan biola alto di punggungnya tiba-tiba terasa lebih berat dari biasanya.

Her music teacher is organizing a petition, and a few parents have promised to write letters. But the board meeting has a public comment slot, three minutes per speaker, and nobody has signed up. "Someone should speak," says her teacher, looking around the room. Several students become very interested in their shoes. Aurora is one of them.

Guru musiknya sedang mengorganisasi petisi, dan beberapa orang tua sudah berjanji menulis surat. Tetapi rapat dewan memiliki sesi komentar publik, tiga menit per pembicara, dan belum ada yang mendaftar. "Seseorang harus bicara," kata gurunya sambil memandang berkeliling ruangan. Beberapa murid mendadak sangat tertarik pada sepatu mereka. Aurora salah satunya.

She hates speaking in public. In class presentations her voice goes thin and her hands shake so much that the paper rattles. She has played in front of audiences since she was ten, but that is different. When she plays, she doesn't have to be herself. Still, that evening she writes her name on the sign-up sheet in handwriting she hardly recognizes.

Ia benci berbicara di depan umum. Dalam presentasi di kelas, suaranya menjadi tipis dan tangannya gemetar begitu hebat sampai kertasnya bergemeresik. Ia sudah tampil di depan penonton sejak berumur sepuluh tahun, tetapi itu berbeda. Saat bermain, ia tidak perlu menjadi dirinya sendiri. Meski begitu, malam itu ia menulis namanya di lembar pendaftaran dengan tulisan tangan yang nyaris tak ia kenali.

For three days she practices. She reads the speech to the bathroom mirror, to her cat and to her viola case, which listens best. The first version takes three minutes and forty seconds, mostly because it contains eleven statistics. She cuts ten of them.

Selama tiga hari ia berlatih. Ia membacakan pidatonya kepada cermin kamar mandi, kepada kucingnya, dan kepada kotak biolanya, yang paling pandai mendengarkan. Versi pertama memakan waktu tiga menit empat puluh detik, kebanyakan karena memuat sebelas statistik. Ia membuang sepuluh di antaranya.

On Thursday evening, the boardroom smells of coffee and carpet cleaner. Six adults sit behind a long table with name cards in front of them. A small digital timer on the lectern glows red. Aurora has been sitting in the second row for forty minutes, listening to a debate about bus routes. She can no longer feel her fingers.

Pada Kamis malam, ruang rapat itu berbau kopi dan pembersih karpet. Enam orang dewasa duduk di balik meja panjang dengan kartu nama di depan mereka. Sebuah pencatat waktu digital kecil di mimbar menyala merah. Aurora sudah duduk di baris kedua selama empat puluh menit, mendengarkan perdebatan tentang rute bus. Ia sudah tak bisa merasakan jari-jarinya.

"Next, public comment," says the chair. "Aurora, please come up. You have three minutes."

"Berikutnya, komentar publik," kata ketua dewan. "Aurora, silakan maju. Anda punya waktu tiga menit."

Her legs carry her to the lectern, though she isn't sure how. She puts down her index cards. The first sentence on the first card is a joke. When she opens her mouth, however, her mind goes white, and the joke is gone. The timer starts. Nobody coughs.

Kakinya membawanya ke mimbar, meski ia tidak yakin bagaimana. Ia meletakkan kartu-kartu catatannya. Kalimat pertama di kartu pertama adalah sebuah lelucon. Namun ketika ia membuka mulut, pikirannya memutih, dan lelucon itu lenyap. Pencatat waktu mulai berjalan. Tak seorang pun batuk.

"I don't like speaking," she says, and hears her own voice shake. "So if the program didn't matter to me, I wouldn't be here."

"Saya tidak suka berbicara," katanya, dan mendengar suaranya sendiri bergetar. "Jadi kalau program ini tidak penting bagi saya, saya tidak akan berada di sini."

Someone in the audience makes a small sound, almost a laugh. It helps.

Seseorang di antara hadirin mengeluarkan suara kecil, hampir tawa. Itu membantu.

She forgets the cards and tells them two things instead. The whole music budget for a year costs less than the new sign the board paid for outside the school entrance. And ninety-four students are in the program, at least a dozen of whom, she thinks, come to school mainly for it. "If the program were cut," she says, "I think some of them would simply stop coming."

Ia melupakan kartu-kartunya dan mengatakan dua hal saja. Seluruh anggaran musik selama setahun lebih murah daripada papan nama baru yang dibayar dewan di depan pintu masuk sekolah. Dan sembilan puluh empat murid ikut program ini, setidaknya selusin di antaranya, menurutnya, datang ke sekolah terutama demi program itu. "Kalau program ini dipangkas," katanya, "menurut saya sebagian dari mereka akan berhenti datang begitu saja."

The timer beeps. She has used two minutes and fifty-one seconds. She walks back to her seat, and her knees tremble the whole way.

Pencatat waktu berbunyi. Ia sudah memakai dua menit lima puluh satu detik. Ia berjalan kembali ke kursinya, dan lututnya gemetar sepanjang jalan.

For a moment, the board members look at one another. Then the chair clears her throat. She says the board has heard the comments. The vote will be postponed until the March meeting, so the figures can be reviewed again. She does not say what will happen after that.

Sesaat, para anggota dewan saling berpandangan. Lalu ketua dewan berdeham. Ia mengatakan bahwa dewan telah mendengar komentar-komentar itu. Pemungutan suara akan ditunda sampai rapat bulan Maret, supaya angka-angkanya bisa ditinjau kembali. Ia tidak mengatakan apa yang akan terjadi setelah itu.

In the corridor, her teacher squeezes her shoulder and says nothing, which is exactly right.

Di koridor, gurunya meremas bahunya dan tidak berkata apa-apa, dan itu tepat sekali.

On the bus home, Aurora finds the index cards in her pocket. She has not read a single one. On the last card, she had written the sentence she meant to finish with: "Please let us keep playing." She folds the card in half and tucks it into her viola case, next to the spare strings.

Di bus pulang, Aurora menemukan kartu-kartu catatan itu di sakunya. Ia tak membaca satu pun. Di kartu terakhir, ia telah menulis kalimat yang ingin ia gunakan untuk menutup: "Tolong biarkan kami terus bermain." Ia melipat kartu itu menjadi dua dan menyelipkannya ke dalam kotak biolanya, di samping senar cadangan.

She doesn't know what the board will decide in March. But Monday's rehearsal is still on, and she plans to be early.

Ia tidak tahu apa yang akan diputuskan dewan pada bulan Maret. Tetapi latihan hari Senin masih berjalan, dan ia berencana datang lebih awal.