The AI Wedding Speech

Hamid has three days to write his best-man speech, and he has no ideas. His oldest friend is getting married on Saturday, and the whole family expects something funny. On Wednesday night, he opens an AI assistant. He types: "Write a speech for my friend and his bride. Make it warm and funny."

Hamid punya waktu tiga hari untuk menulis pidato pendamping pria, dan ia tidak punya ide sama sekali. Sahabat terlamanya akan menikah hari Sabtu, dan seluruh keluarga mengharapkan sesuatu yang lucu. Rabu malam, ia membuka sebuah asisten AI. Ia mengetik: "Tulis pidato untuk temanku dan mempelainya. Buat yang hangat dan lucu."

Four seconds later, the speech is ready. It is smooth and polished. It is full of phrases like "a journey of love" and "two hearts, one destiny". Hamid is impressed. He reads it aloud to his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Nothing sounds wrong until the second paragraph.

Empat detik kemudian, pidatonya sudah jadi. Halus dan rapi. Penuh dengan frasa seperti "perjalanan cinta" dan "dua hati, satu takdir". Hamid terkesan. Ia membacakannya dengan suara keras di depan bayangannya di cermin kamar mandi. Tidak ada yang terdengar janggal sampai paragraf kedua.

"I will never forget the day they met in Valmora," the speech says.

"Aku tak akan pernah melupakan hari mereka bertemu di Valmora," kata pidato itu.

Hamid stops. His friend and Simona did not meet in Valmora. They met at a bus stop in Harbor Town, in the rain, when she lent him her umbrella. The speech also says that his friend is a lifelong lover of hiking. His friend has never owned a pair of boots. He complains when the walk to the car is longer than a minute.

Hamid berhenti. Temannya dan Simona tidak bertemu di Valmora. Mereka bertemu di halte bus di Harbor Town, saat hujan, ketika Simona meminjamkan payungnya. Pidato itu juga menyebut bahwa temannya pencinta mendaki gunung seumur hidup. Temannya bahkan tidak pernah punya sepasang sepatu bot. Ia mengeluh kalau jalan ke mobil lebih lama dari semenit.

The more Hamid reads, the less it sounds like anyone he knows. "I could give this speech at any wedding in the world," he mutters. If he reads it on Saturday, nobody will laugh. The groom's grandmother will notice the wrong city immediately.

Semakin Hamid membaca, semakin pidato itu terdengar bukan seperti siapa pun yang ia kenal. "Pidato ini bisa kubacakan di pernikahan mana pun di dunia," gumamnya. Kalau ia membacanya hari Sabtu, tak seorang pun akan tertawa. Nenek mempelai pria akan langsung menyadari kota yang salah.

He closes the laptop and tells himself he will fix it tomorrow. Tomorrow turns into Friday, and by Friday night he is still staring at the screen. Finally, he pushes the computer away and takes a pen and a piece of paper from the drawer.

Ia menutup laptop dan berkata pada dirinya bahwa ia akan memperbaikinya besok. Besok berubah menjadi Jumat, dan pada Jumat malam ia masih menatap layar. Akhirnya, ia menyingkirkan komputer itu dan mengambil pulpen dan selembar kertas dari laci.

This time, he does not ask for anything smooth. He writes down what really happened. He writes about the evening his friend fell asleep at his own birthday party. A paper hat was still on his head. He writes about the umbrella, which his friend still carries everywhere, even in summer. He crosses out three lines and writes them again. At one in the morning, he finally has a speech that sounds like his own voice.

Kali ini, ia tidak meminta sesuatu yang halus. Ia menuliskan apa yang benar-benar terjadi. Ia menulis tentang malam ketika temannya tertidur di pesta ulang tahunnya sendiri. Topi kertas masih menempel di kepalanya. Ia menulis tentang payung itu, yang masih dibawa temannya ke mana-mana, bahkan di musim panas. Ia mencoret tiga baris dan menuliskannya lagi. Pukul satu dini hari, akhirnya ia punya pidato yang terdengar seperti suaranya sendiri.

At the wedding, Hamid stands up with the paper shaking a little in his hand. "Eight years ago, it was raining at a bus stop in Harbor Town," he begins. Simona covers her mouth. The groom laughs so hard that he knocks over his glass. By the end, even the grandmother is wiping her eyes.

Di pernikahan itu, Hamid berdiri dengan kertas yang sedikit gemetar di tangannya. "Delapan tahun lalu, hujan turun di sebuah halte bus di Harbor Town," ia memulai. Simona menutup mulutnya. Mempelai pria tertawa begitu keras sampai menjatuhkan gelasnya. Pada akhirnya, bahkan sang nenek pun menyeka matanya.

Later, while the band is playing, Hamid's phone buzzes in his pocket. It is a message from the assistant: "How did the speech go?"

Kemudian, saat band sedang bermain, ponsel Hamid bergetar di sakunya. Sebuah pesan dari asisten itu: "Bagaimana pidatonya?"

He smiles and types back: "Very well. I wrote it myself."

Ia tersenyum dan membalas: "Sangat bagus. Aku menulisnya sendiri."