Ronan and Iris have played violin duets together since they were nine years old. For the school's spring recital, they always perform side by side.
罗南和艾丽丝从九岁起就一起拉小提琴二重奏。每年学校的春季演奏会，他们总是并肩演出。
Two weeks before this year's recital, Iris's family tells her they're moving out of state. She has to leave before the performance even happens. Ronan finds out from a group message, sent in the middle of math class. He has to read it three times before it actually makes sense.
今年演奏会前两周，艾丽丝的家人告诉她，他们要搬到外州去。她得在演出举行之前就离开。罗南是从一条群消息里得知的，那条消息是数学课上发来的。他读了三遍才真正明白。
"You'll still play your part," their music teacher tells him gently. "You could perform it as a solo instead."
“你还是可以演奏你的部分，”音乐老师温和地对他说，“你可以改成独奏。”
Ronan has never played anything alone in front of an audience before. Every recital, every competition, Iris has been standing right next to him. Somehow that always made the shaking in his hands feel less important.
罗南从来没有在观众面前独自演奏过任何东西。每一场演奏会，每一次比赛，艾丽丝都站在他身边。不知怎的，这总能让他手的颤抖显得没那么要紧。
"I don't think I can do the whole piece by myself," he tells his teacher honestly.
“我觉得我没法一个人拉完整首曲子，”他老老实实地对老师说。
"You've been playing this piece for eight weeks," she reminds him. "The notes are already in your hands. What you're really nervous about isn't the music."
“这首曲子你已经练了八个星期了，”她提醒他，“音符早就在你的手里了。你真正紧张的不是音乐。”
She's right, and Ronan knows it. It isn't the notes that scare him. It's standing on that stage without anyone else up there to lean on if something goes wrong.
她说得对，罗南也知道。让他害怕的不是音符，而是一个人站在那个舞台上，万一出了差错，身边没有别人可以依靠。
He practices harder than he ever has before. He runs through the piece every night after dinner, sometimes twice. His hands still shake in rehearsal, even when nobody else is watching. If he can't get through it alone in an empty room, he isn't sure about the auditorium.
他比以往任何时候都练得更刻苦。每天晚饭后他都把整首曲子过一遍，有时候两遍。排练时他的手依然会抖，哪怕没有别人在看。如果在空荡荡的房间里他都没法独自拉完，那在礼堂里他就更没有把握了。
On the night of the recital, Ronan stands backstage. He listens to the murmur of the crowd settling into their seats. He almost asks the teacher if someone else could take his spot instead. Then he thinks about Iris, probably unpacking boxes in some new city right now. He imagines her telling him to just walk out there already.
演奏会的晚上，罗南站在后台。他听着观众低低的说话声，渐渐在座位上安静下来。他差点问老师，能不能换别人顶替他的位置。然后他想起了艾丽丝，此刻她大概正在某座新城市里拆着箱子。他想象她在对他说，别磨蹭了，快走出去。
He walks onto the stage alone and sets his violin under his chin. Then he waits for the shaking in his hands to pass. It doesn't disappear completely, but it doesn't stop him either.
他独自走上舞台，把小提琴架在下巴下面。然后他等着手上的颤抖过去。它没有完全消失，但也没有拦住他。
He plays the whole piece from memory. He misses one small note near the end, one that only he probably notices. When he finishes, the applause feels different than anything he's heard before. It sounds louder somehow, because for the first time, it belongs entirely to him.
他凭记忆拉完了整首曲子。接近结尾的地方他错了一个小音符，大概只有他自己注意到了。拉完之后，掌声和他以前听过的任何掌声都不一样。不知怎么，听起来更响，因为这是第一次，这掌声完完全全属于他自己。
